Ripe.

The dear words of Ben Lee:

The moon sheds light across the end of the bed
You made me wait but now I’m touching your leg
And I remember all the little things that you said
Quesadillas made with cheese and a rock band who were Japanese.
So for once
In my life I saw what I wanted
And took a bite
I picked the fruit from the tree
And it was ripe
Your love got big your jokes got worse each afternoon
Like Bacon at a bah Mitzvah like a lead balloon
And whose to say what really happened in that room each day
I was looking for a bride, you were looking for a groom.
So for once in your life
You saw what you wanted and took a bite
You picked the fruit from the tree and it was ripe.
And all you people are the heroes I’ve known
We’re staring off the edge into the unknown
We on our day? but we cannot go home
So we cry and we sing
Yeah I remember everything
How for once in our lives
We saw what we wanted and took a bite.
We picked the fruit from the tree and it was ripe.
And it was ripe, and it was ripe, and it was ripe.
-Ben Lee.

You Ex-lover is Dead.

I really like this song:

When there is nothing left to burn
You have to set yourself on fire
God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said "yes I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road, from real love
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
-Stars.

You Ex-lover is Dead.

When there is nothing left to burn
You have to set yourself on fire
God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said "yes I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road, from real love
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

Its just allergies.

Have you ever legitimately blamed your tears on allergies?
Honestly, have you ever wanted someone to believe you're truly ok, and that life is fine and dandy?
I do it all the time.
I'm sorry.
Its one of my secrets.

This is that part of the race that tends to send bitter-sweet feelings running up and down my spine.
Its the hardest part of the race in my opinion.
Its closer to the end, its the part where you can see the finish line but you're starting to ask yourself whether or not you can handle it. Its the part that requires the most energy and effort. Its at this point that we have to give 100% of our focus to finding ourselves. Its the hardest part. After this race, there are going to be tons more, some of them will be 24 hour walk-a-thons and others will be 48 hour marathons. I'm pushing myself. I'm going as fast and as far as I can until I collapse from exhaustion. It would be so much easier if there weren't so many obstacles and hurdles to jump over. I know I have support, but it all just seems so foggy lately.

The only way to truly rid my mind of problems is to vent.
I usually feel bad spilling my heart out to people, its almost as if I feel bad wasting their time. Afterall, we all have our tragic little life stories. We all have to deal with them.

This is where the balloons come in handy.
I've decided that I'm going to write down all of my problems on little pieces of paper.
Each little piece of paper is going to be tied to a balloon and I'm going to let go. I'm going to let go of all the problems that are out of my control. Its going to help. I hope.

I've come to realize alot of things lately, and I think its time for me to grow in body, mind, spirit and maybe character.
& I think I need to be the bigger person.

:D
Let me have your children.
That is all.
blah blah blah.
I'm in class.
I'm not really listening to the teacher though.
Oh well.
Maybe I should stop typing nonsense and actually pay attention to her lecture.
Nahhhh...
Its about lame stuff.

Surprise surprise.

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hgkj lgkh

Its a bitter sweet symphony, this life we live.
When its good its good.
When its bad its bad.

Good song.

I wanna hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain...


Just thought everyone should know.
I'm in class, I should close this window before ms. T-pain walks by.
:]


Enjoy.

Pretend you love me.

I am one of those people who constantly associates songs I listen to, to people in my life. Is that weird? Does anyone else do that too? I sometimes like to believe that everyone else does the exact same thing, but more so I hope that people think of me when they listen to their music. I often pretend it, it makes me feel really special. It seems really lame on the surface, but in reality...yeah, ok I'm lame.

NO!

Remember Thomas the tank engine who always choo chooed up the mountain saying, "I think I can, I think I can"?
Well I'm A-choo chooing all over the place yelling, "Im not sick, I'm not sick"
I don't get sick.
I'm never sick.
I won't get sick.
I can't get sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I don't get sick.

Dress up.

We played dress up at Courtney's house tonight.
Courtney has some pretty nifty ummm...clothing.
Wow.
I'm going to be a rather outrageous vixen when I finally cut loose.
Whoever has me is going to be one lucky fellow.

The day I finally blossom all of god's angels will sing beautiful,whimsical hymms.
You just listen.

It will be a while I'm sure, so for now I'll stick to my usual:
Modest is Hottest.

;)

Purple Pickled Mushrooms

I have decided that life is good. No, I take that back, life is great. I want to accomplish so many things, I want to tackle so many problems and I'd love to leap over every obstacle. Certain people in my life are giving me so much to work with it. I'm excited for the future. I'm ready. I'm going to run this race, I'm going to keep going. Watch me.


:]

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.
And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
-Ingrid.

The weather and itunes have this remarkable way of knowing exactly how I feel at a given time. Shuffle seems to work well for me. The songs that play throughout my life, always work well in every situation. The weather never fails.
I Don't like feeling this way.
I want something. I don't know what. I do know. I'm afraid to admit it. I want my life to go in the direction I steer it. I want to go back to the old days, when everything was simple.

Ugh.

I really miss you.