.dlrow eht fo pot no

Its one of the worst feelings you can feel in your lifetime. It usually happens just like the economy. We've got our expansions and contractions. There are your peaks and your troughs. There are the recessions and depressions. They all occur, some more than others all depending on how you live, what you do, and all that jazz. They run in cycles and there is no telling when an event is going to trigger you into something grand or something bland. Now aside from the absolutely unnecessary analogy, its true that I'm not feeling to hot today.
Its almost as if I was standing on top of the world, with tons of great things in my arms and balanced upon my head, knick knack sweetly placed amongst my chest and tons of random items all around. It kind of became intensely hard to balance it all. I kept holding on, balancing and shifting, but then I sort of started to drop some things and almost lose my balance. Finally I just sort of fell, still on top of the world, but a little shaken up and very frazzled. Everything was just sort of thrown around, misplaced and a few things were broken. I guess thats kind of how I feel right now. I still feel on top of the world, I live a rather exuberant life, but there are few things that are really starting to get to me. I am the culprit of my own demise. Its all good. Jesus is here in my heart. I know it.

I don't want to say goodbye.

Ps;

Today was a good show day.
You missed out.
I'm happy.
I'm fine without you.

nwod em tel ouy;

You let me down yet again.

really now?

Remember that time i didn't suck at life?
It seems kind of vague, i don't quite remember the last time i didn't screw up something. I guess the easiest way to describe my emotions at this point is just plain confused. I've got alot on my mind, but who really cares? We've all got issues, apparently, so why should anyone else's take precedence over the next guy's? I'm sure there are plenty of us out there who are struggling with social deformities, domestic casualties and over all disappointments in the realm of our so called dramatic lives. I'm not sure where to even begin on my issues. Alls I know is that I'm confused. If you'd like to know a little more, just ask. Maybe I'll be able to tell you. oy.

.

I'm an emotional little creature.

;lk;j;fhg

I refuse to cry over you.
I will not cry about this.
I am stronger than that.
I think.
oy.

Calendar Girl.

"If I am lost for a day; try to find me
But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me
All of the things that I thought were so easy
Just got harder and harder each day
December is darkest and June is the light but this empty bedroom won't make anything right
While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
Who waits up for me all through the night
Calendar girl who's in love with the world Stay alive
Calendar Girl who's in love with the world Stay alive
I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky
And said whoever is up there,please don't let me die
But I can't live forever,I can't always be
One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea
The pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a cross
And I'll laugh about all that we've lost
Calendar Girl who is lost to the world
Stay Alive
Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive
January, February, March, April, May I'm alive
June, July, August, September,October I'm alive
November, December, you all through the winter, I'm alive
I'm alive."
-Stars