Pretend you love me.

I am one of those people who constantly associates songs I listen to, to people in my life. Is that weird? Does anyone else do that too? I sometimes like to believe that everyone else does the exact same thing, but more so I hope that people think of me when they listen to their music. I often pretend it, it makes me feel really special. It seems really lame on the surface, but in reality...yeah, ok I'm lame.

NO!

Remember Thomas the tank engine who always choo chooed up the mountain saying, "I think I can, I think I can"?
Well I'm A-choo chooing all over the place yelling, "Im not sick, I'm not sick"
I don't get sick.
I'm never sick.
I won't get sick.
I can't get sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm not sick.
I don't get sick.

Dress up.

We played dress up at Courtney's house tonight.
Courtney has some pretty nifty ummm...clothing.
Wow.
I'm going to be a rather outrageous vixen when I finally cut loose.
Whoever has me is going to be one lucky fellow.

The day I finally blossom all of god's angels will sing beautiful,whimsical hymms.
You just listen.

It will be a while I'm sure, so for now I'll stick to my usual:
Modest is Hottest.

;)

Purple Pickled Mushrooms

I have decided that life is good. No, I take that back, life is great. I want to accomplish so many things, I want to tackle so many problems and I'd love to leap over every obstacle. Certain people in my life are giving me so much to work with it. I'm excited for the future. I'm ready. I'm going to run this race, I'm going to keep going. Watch me.


:]

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.
And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget.
And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.
-Ingrid.

The weather and itunes have this remarkable way of knowing exactly how I feel at a given time. Shuffle seems to work well for me. The songs that play throughout my life, always work well in every situation. The weather never fails.
I Don't like feeling this way.
I want something. I don't know what. I do know. I'm afraid to admit it. I want my life to go in the direction I steer it. I want to go back to the old days, when everything was simple.

Ugh.

I really miss you.

Again;

I still continue to serve everyone else before myself.
what happens when i finally help everyone get their lives together, and then mine falls apart?
I won't let that happen.
I've got the best grip this side of the mississippi.
Literally and metaphorically speaking.
I've got to keep holding on.

Sometimes i feel like everything is moving so damn fast past me and I'm just standing here in a blur of people, plans and time.
Everything is sweeping past me faster than i can catch on. All I need is one damn minute to take a breath, but it just seems like nobody is giving me that chance to breathe, It's my own fault though i suppose, I brought this on myself.

I could have changed it all, I could have prevented this all, but I didn't. I'm stubborn.
This is one thing I wish i could change. I've fallen behind. I will never be able to catch up at this rate.

I've got to get my priorities straight. I'm going to go try to figure things out.

First I need to feed my cat.

tis true;

Today was by far the best day of my life.
who would have thought that so many people actually care so deeply about me that they would be willing to spend a glorious saturday evening surprising me.

I never knew that so many people actually loved me that much.
I can't believe that my tiny little life meant the world to so many.


I love you.
without a doubt.
I love you all.
you all complete me and make me who i am.


I still feel like i'm dreaming..

I'm still speechless.

drained

I'm tired.
I'm weary.
In a sense, I'm zonked.
There is definitely too much going on, and i seem to keep blaming all the domestic problems on one thing, or one person, for that matter.
Its horrible of me, but i do it.
I can't help how I feel.
To live a life that is even half as cool as the people i associate with, I must run around in circles pleasing certain people and finishing everything.
Its a never ending cycle of stress and emotions.
But guess what world, I CAN DO IT.

Jesse, I'm coming over to play your piano.

It helps me.
I know its really lame.
[eye roll]

But i really enjoy playing.