Ducks&Chuck.

Lately I've been in the grumpiest state of mind. I can't seem to find any comfort throughout my days. Not from working, not from laughing, not even from running (metaphorically of course) I'm rather ambivalent in my endeavors of stating anything anew. At the end of the day I think I'd just rather curl up into a shriveled mess, rip out my hair and wale to the Gods of yester-year as I plea and pray that I'll find something that makes me feel as great as I used to. If it isn't the "what I'm doing" that's making me unhappy, then it has to be the "what I'm NOT doing" thats pressing my buttons. I can't seem to please anyone (not that I should have to) nor can I seem to please myself. I'm instead caught between the past and future looking as lost as that little lamb in the field today. I don't WANT anything, I need something, but I've lost the drive that is oh so necessary for me to kick any passion or fervor that I may have left into motion. I'm so tired. confused. annoyed. sad. angry. distraught. lost. found. up. down. unfunny. not-me. blue. red. sick. healthy. weezy. breezy. sleezy. I am NOT a child. I listen to music. I write. I love. I sing. I laugh. But none of it is the remedy for this case of incertitude.

SO Today, I decided to go ahead and FIND a remedy for myself and for the sake of those around me. I went to take pictures (another of my attempts to find something that might help me outlet this array of creativity/emotions/etc). On that walk/journey/adventure I met a friend. His name was chuck. And a very cute chuck at that. We met as he took a picture of me, taking a picture of Katie, taking a picture of a beautiful sunset. He came up to us as to joke about how comical it was for this old geezer to be taking a picture of such lovely subjects. We immediately bonded since all three of us are faithful to the Nikon family and from there began a lengthy discussion on the importance of art and creativity in one's life. He was a truly beautiful man, inside and out. Right down to his absolutely adorable track suit. I loved his words. He spoke so highly of art, so highly of passion and unknowingly answered the silly questions that played on repeat in my mind. I still don't know if the almighty one's name is God, but if so this may just be one of the signs I need right now. It could also just be pure coincidence, but for now I choose to believe willingly into the idea that maybe I can live a fulfilling life comprised primarily of art and laughter. It's funny how life tends to throw you a sign every now and again, regardless if you're willing to take that manifestation for what its worth. I hope you too can find something today, or tonight or tomorrow that ignites that flame within your heart, so you too can feel refreshed.