Its hard for me (as we have read before) to create a somewhat cohesive thought here on a blog, or in my journal. Its very tedious, but I'm trying. Here I go:
What I need is compassion and understanding. I feel like I give enough of it to so many, that I too deserve something. I just feel so disconnected from so many and no matter where I go fir answers, something doesn't go right. I hate saying that, but it just seems so apparent all too often. I just don't seem to understand it anymore. I tried pushing everything aside for the longest time so that I could get over things and move on. I'd love to be over immature people and forgive and forget, but it seems that the people i seem most disconnected from are the ones i love the most. I feel so pushed aside and to be completely honest, i feel misunderstood. I don't understand the hypocrisy among my peers. I don't understand the difference in the situations, i'd like to to get together with so many of them and just talk, but somewhere along the lines of my effort, my subconscious mind kicks in and reminds me that the issue is too trivial to be discussed. I want some freaking answers, I'm dying inside people. I want to know why so many of my friends have become so far away from me. Its not just the boyfriend thing, is it? It couldn't be, because i'm seeing that occur across the board. oh deary me, i need answers. I'm not angry, im not frustrated, hell i'm not even sad. I'm simply baffled.
if you have answers, i'd like to hear them.
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I wish I did have answers. The best I can come up with is that nothing is too trivial to be discussed. Ask people about it. It might be a little weird/awkward, but that's life.
ReplyDeleteDoubt that was very helpful, but I understand your bafflement.